Rebel With a Cause

My mother was a stay-at-home mom for most of my childhood. I really feel fortunate to have had her so involved in my life. She took my brother and I to all of our extra-curricular activities, taught us how to play basketball, baseball, football.....how to tie our shoes, read, drive a car...you get it. My mother never missed a game that I played basketball, track, cheered at, or danced with the drill team; she was devoted to her children. My father, on the other hand, worked shift work at a chemical plant, so he was either working or sleeping......or vegging out on the couch watching t.v. Even when he was off, he was pretty "absent". I grew up knowing that my father loved me because he provided for me, not because he spent time with me. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful that he was a hard worker-- I just wish that he would have given us quality time every once in a while. Mostly, I feel as if I grew up not really "knowing" him.

When my parents found out that I was having sex with Dean my senior year of high school, they had two totally different reactions. My mother was disappointed, and immediately made an appointment with an ob/gyn to put me on the pill. My father was utterly disgusted with me. He told me that I would never make anything of myself--That I would end up a single, unwed mother.......just like my aunt. My aunt, his sister, had just become a mother at the age of 19. Be careful of what you speak, you may just speak it into existence. Little did he know, I would soon be just that-- a single unwed mother at 19.

As close as my mother and I had been, things changed my last year of high school. We argued continuously. Because we are so much alike, we butt heads about anything and everything. Not to mention the fact that I thought I knew it all;) For the most part, I was a pretty respectable girl. I didn't go out drinking all the time like so many of my friends, I made good grades, and I always made my curfew. Except for Dean's prom.

Every year for prom, for as far back as I can recall, people would rent beach houses for prom weekend.....It was sort of a rite of passage. Now let me just say, as a parent, I am frightened by this idea. What good can come out of a bunch of unsupervised teenagers partying all weekend at a beach house? Well, at the time, I thought it was a perfect idea. Not only that, but I had been looking forward to it since I was a freshman. So, you can imagine my disappointment when my mother told me that I couldn't go to the beach after prom. Actually, it was more like my life was going to end. I was so upset.....then angry. All I could think about was spending time with Dean for a whole weekend--without parents! I begged and pleaded and fought with my mother up until the day of prom, trying desperately to change her mind. She stood firm. Eventually, I boldly told her that I didn't care what she said; I was going. My mother whipped around and very sternly said that if I knew what was good for me, I better be back home that night when prom ended. I looked straight into her eyes and defiantly told her that when I didn't show up that night, she knew where I'd be. I still don't know where I got the courage to say something like that to my mother, but more importantly why she didn't slap me across the face. At the time, I was clueless that my mother was dealing with other issues in her life. I don't think she had any more "fight" in her, where prom was concerned.

I went to Dean's prom, and then the beach afterward for the weekend. My best friend went as Dean's best friend's date. We all stayed at the same place at the beach. It was definitely all I had hoped it would be and more. We partied like we were rock stars for sure.....sex, drugs, and rock and roll, right? It was more like sex, alcohol, and rock and roll for me, as I hadn't tried drugs yet. I didn't even give one thought to what awaited me when I got home. I didn't care--this was worth it. The consequences fit the crime. Half of the punishment for me was enduring the "lecture" when I got home. The other half was being grounded from time with Dean. It was truly torture.

However, my parent's new business venture kept them away on weekends, so it all worked out for me. I sneaked around to see Dean when they were gone.....I would drive to his place, or he'd come to mine. This brings me to something........